Archives for category: awakening

I saw this bottle cap at my friend’s house yesterday.  I think this is a battle worth fighting, with one caveat.

Growing up is tough

Do allow maturity to enhance your life.  Don’t give up in life what fuels your spirit.

“Embrace the suck!” We used to say that to each other in the Army during miserable all day training exercises.  These training excursions were always accompanied by temps in the 30’s and 40’s and steady perpetual rain. Carrying heavy loads of equipment while playing war games in the cold rain actually became funny to us.  No, it was hilarious.  Beyond absurd.  Obviously, we forced ourselves into another state of mind.  It was a state of acceptance.  It was wrapped in crude humor and sarcasm, but it was acceptance nonetheless.

The closer we got to the discomfort, the less control it had on us.  We were free.  Free to crack jokes, laugh, tear down walls.  We really had no choice.  It was either be miserable fighting the inevitable, or laugh and cut loose while dealing with the inevitable.

Embracing the dark

It’s interesting when I notice just how much time and energy we seem to spend trying to be happy. Trying to make it look like things are always “ok”.  Trying to maintain control and not break.  I’ve enjoyed reading several blogs in the past few days that have talked about being alright with allowing our dark to come into the light more in our lives.

What happens if we allow some more dark to come through?  What if people knew that we aren’t always ok all of the time?  What if happy isn’t our default after all?  What if we allow the hard times to do what they do and not try and spend so much energy denying the inevitable?

(Here’s an older and slightly related post where I wrote about projecting the ideal self on Facebook and social media)

Honesty is a virtue.  People value it.  That and candor.  We’d be foolish to think that others don’t value those things when we let it come through in ourselves.

 

We really do take our emotional health for granted.  We pay attention to our physical health in various ways, such as through diet and exercise, but we continually allow ourselves to cross our own boundaries internally.

How often do we allow our own self talk to say things to us we’d never allow someone else to say to us?  How frequently are we sabotaging our own contentment and success, yet we focus the blame to our environments and other people as if they are the reason?

To get love we have to love ourselves first.

Check out this excellent Ted Talk  on emotional hygiene.

When is the right time to see a counselor?  This is a very good question.  It can be hard to know when we’ve crossed over from being able to “handle our stuff” on our own to seeking professional help.  Many of us have lived up to the mantra of “suck it up and deal with it” for so long that it seems foreign to even consider seeking the services of a therapist.

Contrary to what some of us may think, there’s nothing wrong with getting counseling! That goes for everyone.  Many people see a counselor to help them with the in’s and out’s of life.  You don’t need a diagnosis to see a counselor and you don’t have to feel you are crazy to seek therapy, either.

Seeking counseling

 

However, there are some signs that we should look for as signals that it’s probably time to at least strongly consider getting some therapeutic help.

Here are some common reasons to seek counseling.  These reasons are in no specific order and there are many things I’m sure I could add that I’ve left out.

1.  Symptoms of feeling down that have lasted longer than they normally do.  The event or the circumstance that we attributed to us feeling down has ended long ago, yet we’re still not the same.

2.  People that we are close to are concerned about our mood or lack of energy.  If people are asking us if we “really are ok” they know something is amiss.  Chances are they’ve just now felt it necessary to say something.  They’ve probably been noticing the shift in us for awhile.

3.  Feelings of being “out of control”.  If we don’t feel in control, we probably aren’t.

4.  Lack of energy.  If we’re feeling tired all of the time, or have very little motivation, it’s a sign that we may need some help.

getting counseling

5.  Apathy.  Not caring can feel worse than feeling down or worrying all the time.  If feeling apathetic about your relationship or your job is the case, this could have serious repercussions.

6.  Feeling frustrated about being stuck or going through the same things AGAIN.  Feeling stuck in a cycle of emotional turmoil or certain types of relationship disaster?

7.  Our partner feels that we are distant or disconnected from the relationship.  The longer this goes on, the worse it can get.

8.  Bouts of anger that make you feel out of control or are affecting your family.  Please consider help for their sake, if not yours.

9.  Feeling confused about self or place in the world.  It’s normal to go through significant periods of change throughout our lives.  It can be very helpful to have someone to help keep you grounded in the process.

10.  Any thoughts of harming yourself or others.  Of course, if this is the case.  The first step is to call for EMERGENCY help.  Counseling will be needed at some point.  Just not immediately.

Also, one of the biggest indicators that it might be a good idea to consider therapy is if you continually think about if it’s a good idea to do therapy!  Sounds simple, but going with the gut intuition is typically the best route!